Navigating the Grey: Common Situations That Can Escalate into Sexual Harassment Cases

Every workplace has its own culture — a mix of personalities, humour, comfort levels, and boundaries. What feels like harmless banter to one person might feel deeply uncomfortable to another. What one may call friendly attention, another might experience as inappropriate or intimidating. And that’s the tricky thing about sexual harassment — it often hides in the grey spaces between intention and impact.

In compliance with the PoSH Act, 2013, many organisations have strengthened their policies, set up Internal Committees, and started conducting awareness sessions. Yet, cases still occur — often not because people are malicious, but because they are unaware, careless, or dismissive of boundaries.

At YellowSpark, we’ve observed that many uncomfortable or problematic situations begin as small lapses in judgment, misplaced friendliness, or casual ignorance. They rarely start with overt acts of harassment. This is why it’s crucial for everyone — employees, managers, and leaders alike — to understand how everyday workplace behaviour can cross the line.

In this article, we’ll explore common scenarios that can potentially escalate into sexual harassment cases, and how to navigate them more mindfully. The idea isn’t to make people fearful of interaction, but to create awareness about subtle boundaries — so we can all make better decisions in these grey areas.

1. The “Friendly” Comment That Crosses the Line

It might start with something as simple as a compliment — “You look nice today” or “That colour suits you.” In many workplaces, these are seen as gestures of friendliness. But repeated comments on a colleague’s appearance, body, or dressing style can easily cross into uncomfortable territory.

Example:

A male collague often compliments his female colleague on her outfits. He means no harm — he compliments everyone, he thinks. But she begins to dread his comments. She feels watched, and others have started teasing her about “special attention.” She doesn’t know how to tell him to stop without seeming rude.

The Grey Area:

Were his intention bad? Probably not. Was the impact negative? Absolutely.

How to handle it:

• Avoid repeated personal compliments, especially about someone’s body or appearance.
• If you must compliment, focus on professional attributes: “You handled that meeting really well” instead of “You looked great leading that meeting.”
• If someone looks uncomfortable — stop, apologise, and change your approach immediately.

2. Casual Jokes or “Office Banter”

Humour is part of team bonding. But humour that’s suggestive, sexist, or targeted can make a colleague feel excluded or humiliated.

Example:

During lunch, a group often jokes about dating apps and relationships. Someone cracks a joke about women being emotional, and everyone laughs — except the two women at the table. They stay quiet. The group thinks it’s harmless fun, but over time, this creates a pattern of discomfort and exclusion.

The Grey Area:

Intentions are often brushed off as “it was just a joke.” But jokes can normalise bias and create a hostile environment.

How to handle it:

• Avoid humour that targets gender, orientation, appearance, or personal life.
• If you’re unsure whether a joke is appropriate, it’s better not to say it.
• And if someone points it out — listen. Don’t defend it with “I didn’t mean it that way.” Intent doesn’t erase impact.

3. The “Mentorship” That Becomes Overly Personal

Mentorship and guidance are valuable at work — but when boundaries blur, what starts as professional can slip into uncomfortable territory.

Example:

A senior manager takes a young employee under his wing. They often meet one-on-one for feedback sessions. Over time, he starts sharing personal stories, and offers to pick her up on the way to work and drop her home after late meetings. She’s unsure if she’s overreacting, but it feels… odd.

The Grey Area:

When professional interactions become emotionally charged or too personal, the power dynamic can make it hard for the junior employee to refuse or speak up.

How to handle it:

• Keep professional mentoring conversations focused on work goals.
• Avoid meeting in private or outside work hours unless necessary — and ensure transparency.
• For mentors: always be conscious of your influence and how your behaviour might be perceived.

4. The “Friendly Touch” That Isn’t Always Welcome

Some people express warmth through physical gestures — a pat on the back, a hand on the shoulder, a side hug. In multicultural workplaces, these gestures are often misread.

Example:

After a big presentation, a female team leader congratulates her team and gives one of her male teammates a light hug. He freezes, caught off guard. Later, he confides to a friend that it made him uncomfortable.

The Grey Area:

Physical touch is highly subjective. What’s natural to one person can be deeply uncomfortable to another.

How to handle it:

• Avoid unnecessary physical contact at work, especially across genders.
• A handshake or a verbal “Well done” is safer and equally warm.
• Be alert to non-verbal cues — if someone stiffens, steps back, or avoids eye contact, respect that boundary immediately.

5. Personal Conversations That Go Too Far

Getting to know colleagues personally helps build connection — but discussing private life, relationships, or sexuality can easily lead to discomfort.

Example:

Two colleagues bond over a common intrest area. They often chat about movies, music, and relationships. One evening, the conversation turns flirty. The next day, one of them regrets it and starts avoiding the other. The tension spills into work.

The Grey Area:

What seemed mutual at first can later feel uncomfortable, especially when professional and personal boundaries overlap.

How to handle it:

• If you sense someone is not reciprocating your tone or interest, stop immediately.
• If things have already become awkward — acknowledge it calmly and reset the boundary.

6. Unwanted Attention Outside Work

Workplace relationships don’t stop at the office door. In today’s world of WhatsApp groups, Instagram follows, and after-hours meetups, boundaries can blur fast.

Example:

A colleague sends repeated “just checking in” messages late at night, reacts to every social media post, and comments on personal photos. It feels intrusive, but not necessarily “harassment” — until it becomes persistent.

The Grey Area:

Digital communication can amplify discomfort. What feels casual to one person can feel invasive to another — especially outside the work context.

How to handle it:

• Maintain professional boundaries on digital platforms.
• Ask before adding someone to personal groups or messaging outside work hours.
• If someone doesn’t respond or seems distant — take the hint and stop.

7. When Power Dynamics Skew Consent

This is one of the most complex grey zones — when seniority or authority creates an imbalance. A junior employee may agree to something (like a dinner or a compliment) simply to avoid conflict or protect their job.

Example:

A team lead often invites a junior colleague for “brainstorming dinners.” The colleague feels uneasy but fears saying no might affect their appraisal. Later, the lead praises their “special working relationship” in front of others, causing rumours and resentment.

The Grey Area:

Consent is not valid if one person feels pressured. Even if no physical boundary is crossed, the power imbalance can make the behaviour inappropriate.

How to handle it:

• Senior employees must be extra cautious about maintaining boundaries.
• Keep professional interactions transparent — no one-on-one offsite meetings unless necessary.
• Encourage open culture where juniors can speak up without fear of retaliation.

8. Romantic Relationships at Work

Office romances are real and not inherently wrong. But they need to be handled with maturity and transparency.

Example:

Two colleagues start dating secretly. When the relationship ends badly, one person avoids the other. Team communication suffers, gossip spreads, and work becomes uncomfortable.

The Grey Area:

Personal relationships can spill into the workplace and affect others’ sense of safety and fairness.

How to handle it:

• If your company has a policy on workplace relationships, follow it.
• Maintain professionalism at work — avoid public displays of affection or private jokes that alienate others.
• If a relationship ends, seek HR support if needed to manage boundaries.

9. Using Position to Influence Favour

Sometimes, a senior employee offers a favour — a good project, better shift, or recommendation — in exchange for personal attention. It might not be stated outright, but the implication is clear.

Example:

A manager hints to a subordinate that joining him for dinner could “help” their career. The employee laughs it off but feels deeply uncomfortable and trapped.

The Grey Area:

Even subtle suggestions of quid pro quo — “this for that” — constitute sexual harassment under the law.

How to handle it:

• Be clear: professional growth should never depend on personal favours.
• If you feel pressured, document the incident and report it to your IC or HR.
• For leaders: be absolutely transparent in how you assign opportunities and evaluate performance.

Bringing It All Together: Creating Clarity in Grey Areas

Sexual harassment doesn’t always look like a headline-grabbing incident. It’s often built from everyday words, gestures, and attitudes that go unchecked. That’s why the focus must shift from intention to awareness — from “I didn’t mean it that way” to “How did it make the other person feel?”

Here are a few guiding principles that help navigate these grey zones:

• Check for consent — verbal and non-verbal.
• If someone looks uncomfortable or avoids you, step back.
• Be aware of power equations.
• The more authority you have, the greater your responsibility to maintain boundaries.
• Communicate openly.
• If something makes you uncomfortable, speak up — to the person, to HR, or to your Internal Committee.
• Seek clarity when unsure.
• It’s always better to ask for guidance than to assume something is “okay.”
• Lead by example.

When leaders model respectful behaviour, it sets the tone for the entire organisation.
Creating a safe workplace isn’t about over-correcting or being afraid to interact. It’s about awareness, empathy, and accountability. Every employee — from the intern to the CEO — shapes the environment through their daily choices and interactions.

When we learn to pause, reflect, and act mindfully, we not only prevent incidents — we build a culture rooted in respect and trust.

Because ultimately, a truly safe workplace is not one where people fear doing the wrong thing — it’s one where they feel confident doing the right thing.

Need to sensitise your employees about PoSH? Reach out to us at contact@yellowspark.in

Author Profile: Deepam Yogi is an adventurer at heart, socially conscious in her gut and professionally a strategic consultant. She co-founded Yellow Spark to support organisations to build workplaces that people love being a part of. Deepam describes herself as a shy yet opinionated writer and firmly believes that most answers to complex issues lie in simple communication.